Living FOR ME

Hello fervent followers.

I have reached the end of the road.  I am no longer living in Thailand, and have made the decision to come back to the states for good.  There are several reasons for my leaving, however I will not discuss them here.  Personal and private as they may be, if I see you, I will definitely give you some insight on my decision.

With that being said, I am currently in Macon.  My employment situation is handled, and law school applications are being topped off and sent.  Needless to say, LIFE IS GOOD.

Regret has evaded my vocabulary and said feelings have not entered my mind.  My decision was real, it was instant, and it was exactly what was best for me.

Now, if you realistically want to enter into the Service First program, this should not be a deterrent.  I have a very different personality when it comes to dealing with certain issues that may not be in your best interest.  I actually recommend working with Dr. Walker and taking a job teaching overseas.  The 3.5 months I spent abroad definitely gave me the push and experience I needed to live on my own and know that my dreams were real, concrete, and MUST be accomplished.  I hope your experiences do the same.

Lastly, I want to thank everyone who helped with preparation for my journey, offered encouragement, understands that this is my decision FOR ME, and who sincerely loves and wants what is best for me.  I hope that the 5 others who are currently there have an amazing experience and see things they never have, because I definitely did.

Love you all & well wishes,

- Cara

peace&love

PS This blog may be made into my journey into law school.  We shall see...

ADVENTURE WAS OUT THERE!!!

Kip - Laos currency

Trek through the rice fields

Beautiful sunset from our river-side restaurant

Hello fervent followers!

During my break, I explored the wild countryside of Vang Vieng, Laos!  And lemme tell ya, IT WAS FANTASMIC!!!  I definitely found adventure and used my slogan so many times that my travel buddy, Taylor had to tell me to shut up lol

Anywho, Vang Vieng is a quietly nested backpackers town strewn with guesthouses every 5 feet and monotonous restaurants, bars, travel agencies and pancake stands (weird, I know).  Every single restaurant has the exact same sign and menu - felt like I was in the twilight zone 0__0  However, it was still awesome!  Taylor and I went on a trek through the rice fields and visited 2 caves, one of which was only accessible via tube and flashlight helmet, and kayaked the Nam Song - major river running through Laos.  ADVENTURE WAS OUT THERE!!

On the second day, we rented motorbikes for like $5 and rode all around the countryside, through the mountains and numerous small villages.  The natives were so nice; each of them smiled and waved as we zoomed past :)

Watering hole next to cave

Overall, the trip was peaceful and exhilarating!  I had a wonderful time and have even started planning a backpacking trip through SE Asia with the boo!

Well, until next time folks ;)

peace&love

Gimme a break..giiiimme a break...

Fervent followers!

The time has come for a break! yes yes, I am traveling to Laos this weekend and am darn excited about it!  I was supposed to visiting the states but did not receive my reimbursement for my ticket here, so I cannot afford it at the moment.  However, I am going to try and visit as soon as I can.

-- Soooo back to Laos!  Laos is the country sharing a border with Thailand to the Northeast.  Its known for its jungles and rivers, making many a rock climber and adventurous soul happy.  I am trying to release/discover my adventurer's soul, so I have decided to go tubing down the river and explore some caves and natural trails.  Bug spray and malaria pills in hand, I will trek through the thickets and find my way to an adventure.  Ok, ya got me. Who am I kidding?  I'm afraid of roaches hahaha  Let's hope I survive the 4 days in the jungle :-/

On the other hand, I got another job at a school that I actually enjoy going to!  The people are very helpful and I can make up my own lesson plans - which I am super duper happy about!  Hopefully, this school will give me a reason to stay.

Welp, in the famous words of Ellie from Up: "ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!!!"  and well, I'm gonna try to find it.  Let's hope my bug repellent doesn't wear off.

peace&love

I am going to kill someone!!!!!!!!!!

Followers, 


I even needed a new font for this horrendous day.  Ok so first of all, I went to training today and the instructor kept skipping over me like I had NO EXPERIENCE in the classroom.  He was asking everyone else for the input and acted like I wasn't even there!!!!  And then I get home to find out that my bank account has been overdrafted because my Thai gym, who I already paid IN CASH for the month of September, has charged my account twice!  I am soooo pissed!!!!!!!!  I am pissed because I am being made to feel that I am incapable of teaching a freakin kindergartener and I am being taken advantage of!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


when it rains, it pours.  My umbrella doesn't seem to be strong enough...


peace&love

Little froggies in a row...

Hello fervent followers!

Immmmmmmmm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

My life went from this







To this in 2 days


I am sooooo happy that things are back to normal!  I feel like I finally and sit back and relax for awhile.  I got paid yesterday (half of which I plan to save) and I am starting my workout routine again.  I am hoping to stick to everything I have planned and to also stick to God's plan.  Because His plan overpowers mine any day :)

On the other side of the coin, I miss my friends dearly!  I am missing Claudine's wedding shower, which I am soo sad about.  I missed Jaymi's birthday and Im missing Marci's birthday.  I missed my little sis's Sweet 16.  I missed my babies' probate.  I feel like I am missing so much!

Well, let's hope my visit brings many smiles :)

peace&love

Taking a small hiatus

Hello guys.

Ummm I'm going through a lot emotionally and spiritually right now, and I have decided to take a hiatus from blogging for the moment.  I don't know how long this hiatus will last, but I know it will be a small one.  I just need to get a few things going on in my life in order before I can share anything with you guys.  Its nothing personal against you.  I just need some breathing room.

I will return soon enough with exciting stories to tell :]

In the meantime, peace&love.

Life is too short & God is too good.

It has definitely crept up on me...

Hi fervent followers!

Welp. Its about that time of the year again for birthdays...and mine is about 4 days away. wow. another year. another dolla.  I am officially almost at 25 and that means I'm really REALLY grown now.  No more family cell phone plan.  No more "lemme get $50, Daddy."  Its gonna be ALL me from now on, and I think I have officially come to terms with this.  Since being in Bangkok, I have learned how to make a dolla outta $0.15 - literally.  And I have also gained my own relationship with God - which is essential for forging ahead on this journey we live.  I have lived & learned many lessons in my relationship, friendships, family, and professional life.  Now its time to apply the concepts I have learned and LIVE.  easy enough right?  we shall see...

stay tuned for the next page of my life because it will be very interesting!

peace&love

Cookies are my downfall smh

Hello fervent followers!

I did so well last week with my new diet & exercise plan.  I ate right. worked out. and I looked GOOD.

However, this week, my goals seemed to have fallen out the window.  And its all because of Dewberry cookies!  What are those? one might ask.  Well they are Thailand's own golden oreo's [well kinda] but infused with strawberry jelly-goodness on top!  I CANT STOP EATING THEMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Well..its back to the gym tonight. Gotta beast it out & work off these cookies.

Pics coming soooooonnnn....

peace&love

Weightloss Updates!!!

Hi fervent followers!

If you didn't know, I joined a gym and have been working out religiously 4 days per week [that's the only plan I could afford haha].  I have been beasting the cardio & weights OUT & have already lost 4lbs!!!  Meanwhile, I have been trying to eat right..and that is the hard part.  My kids have snack, lunch, then another snack after nap - those snacks are usually sugary goodness that I JUST can't pass up - so I indulge; well, overindulge, to say the least.  My sweet tooth [inherited from mi madre] definitely takes over my brain.  So I am really trying to eat better this week so that my weight loss will continue to happen.

Soooo my goal is to be at 125 by Xmas.  And I am gonna let you in on a huge secret & you BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!  Ok here it goes:  current weight - 147lbs --------------goal weight - 125lbs

I got 22lbs to lose before Xmas.  I have already lost 4lbs and plan on trying to lose a pound per week, which will put me over my goal!  Pray for me & my eating habits...we need it :]

peace&love

My Curly Crusade!

Hello fervent followers!

I had a good week and decided to share my hair with you there [the rhyme was TOTALLY needed ^.^]

So I've been keeping busy by experimenting with new styles on my newly released curlssssss! And I must say, that I LOVE MY HAIR! Seriously, I am asking my grandmother why she ever gave me a relaxer in the first place. I mean really!

So the people at my job are always like "omg. Cara, your hair is always so cute!" What they fail to realize is that my styles are probably mistakes. haha. I tried to do something else. my arm got tired. and it turned out to be this. I guess it works. Nonetheless, I am lovin my curls & lovin the fact that I can do so much with them! Why didnt anyone help me out before I chopped my length off?! I woulda transitioned for another year..ughhhhh. Its ok though. I have made my decision and must stick with this one. I cant glue my permed ends back on. Would be nice though haha.

Today I twisted my hair back in about 10 flat twists and plan on wearing it big and curly this weekend! Too excited! For pics..check my fb!

Until next time peoples....

peace

A sad moment...

Well I had a nice lengthy talk with my daddy and step-mom and they gave me some very healthy and Godly advice.

I am gonna try to see this thing through..even if it kills me. Please send some encouraging words my way. I really need it.

love you all!

PS a SPECIAL congrats to my big brudder Mayo & Latiria!

life is too short & GOD is too good.

peace&love

Frustrations begin again...

Fervent followers,

The many frustrations of teaching Pre-Kindergarten are once again wearing down on me. Teaching them simples things takes soooooooooo much longer than any other grade level. I really need to work on my patience. I hope it gets better.

I am sooo frustrated, I don't even want to write about it. smh

peace&love

No complaints :]

Last week was pretty much amazing. I didn't do anything special..it was just an overall good week :]

I am finally happy!

This is a short blog because well, I don't have anything to complain about lol

peace&love

Can I please whoop this child?

omg fervent followers -

I have this one little boy in my class who need a good ol' fashioned whoopin with a wet braided switch while in the tub - explict, yes - necessary, yes.

He is soooooooo freaking bad! Its ridiculous. He won't eat lunch. He won't do his work. He won't be quiet. He won't sit still. He slaps, hits, bites, stabs, and scratches when its play time. He won't do ANYTHING I tell him to do. And to make things worse, his mother doesn't speak a lick of English so I can't tell her what he's doing..smh

I had to tell my supervisor to talk to the parent, but they won't explain it like I will lol

Let's hope it works, or Imma hafta pull out my nonexistent belt lol

peace&love

If we make each other happy then we just can't lose

Hello fervent followers!

I have a confession: I think I am addicted to India.Arie. *sigh* She is probably the most soulful artist currently on the market, and I would just about give a kidney to see her live in concert. However, she really doesn't do live shows anymore..or they are just so top secret that little ole' me doesn't know about them. Either way, if you see/hear anything about her in concert anywhere in Southeast Asia - PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!

In other news, I am feeling so much better! God really has made a way for me. Even my co-workers have noticed a change in my disposition :] Love it!

I am sooo ready for my visit home! But I learned yesterday that I should probably focus on my happiness day to day rather than focusing on a future event to make me happy. Wise words from a co-worker. So I plan on taking that approach for the duration of my contract. I cannot wait to see my loved ones, but I vow to life, laugh & love each day as if it's my last.

Until next time, I love you all!

Life is too short & God is too good. Mai pen lai!

peace&love

Fear God and your troubles will melt away...

Happy Sunday fervent followers!

As many of you should know, I have been having second thoughts about my decision to come here and about actually staying throughout the full term. I was feeling very alone and depressed. I was missing home, my family, friends and boyfriend, and I felt as if I was missing every BIG event in life (the little sis's Sweet 16, one of the bestie's weddings, new additions to Greek Life, etc). I was about ready to give up and go home when I visit in October. But God has a funny way of placing people in your life.

If you know me well, you know I am not the one to shove Jesus in anyone's face, but I have been a fervent follower of the doctrine of the Church of Christ since before I can remember. Yet, I have never had a true test of faith in my adult life. Yes, I have had trials and tribulations, but I never had to endure them alone, and thus, did not really develop my personal relationship with God. But lately, I have been at my lowest point I have been in a really long time, and the only thing holding me up is Jesus. I have prayed every day, asking for strength. I found a church here in Bangkok and attended today. I had gone before but was extremely shy and did not really talk to anyone in depth. But TODAY was different. I met 3 other Black Christian women who welcomed me and coaxed me to stay at church for Bible Study and lunch, and I am soooooo glad that I did. I had FINALLY found Christian women who could empathize with my struggles about being Black in Bangkok, the food, the lack of friends, and the struggles of every day life. It felt so good to be among the righteous and to be able to be my true self - my true personality has been hidden away because of my sadness.

I say all that to say this: Thank you Jesus. With every bone in my body, I will praise you. I have never weeped tears of joy while in service, nor have I have been moved by the word until I started to know him for myself. If you don't know him, I encourage you to seek his grace. If your relationship is like mine was - distant and aloof - actively seek his blessings and you will receive. I am now a true testament of faith and true believer in sincere & earnest prayer, just like Elias (James 5:17).

So I am off to to the gym after a 3 hour long nap :] Keep me in your prayers as I will keep you in mine. Love you all!

Life is too short & God is too good. Mai pen rai!

peace&love

omg. I can't do this alone!!! ahhhhhh

Alright followers. My team teacher is sick today, which means I have the kids all by myself. This has been the worst day yet. They are loud and boisterous..maybe its because I feel overwhelmed. Idk. But they are seriously working my nerves...ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

They just need to go to sleep already...geeeeeez!!!!

Back to the scheduled program...

More sappy crap

Good afternoon fervent followers!

I had a great convo with my boo last night, and we have decided to take our 3rd anniversary trip during Christmas break to Bali, Indonesia!!! If you don't know where that is..look it up. All I can say is one word: freakin amazing - ok 2 words lol

We found an all inclusive resort for $150 per person per night, which if you've ever been to an all inclusive resort, then you know that's pretty darn good! It includes all food, drinks, entertainment shows, and other extracurriculars like rafting and snorkeling :] I am super excited and its almost 4 months away!!! I cannot wait!

Ok..in other news, today went very well. I only had 2 criers (Zacha - who cries every morning because she doesn't wanna leave her mommy & Tatte - who is always still sleepy after his nap and cries because he doesn't wanna wake up smh) and the rest of the class was pretty good. One of my bad student's mom sent him to school with a LARGE Coke and a chocolate cake at 8am. Now, mind you, my babies are 3-5 years old, so a large coke = EHBS (extraterrestrial hyperactivity and badness syndrome). Of course, as he walked into class, I took it from him and did not give it to him until after school. But just to give my babies some praise - they are only in Pre-K and I taught them patterns today and they TOTALLY GOT IT! I was so proud of them...I totally did not think they were gonna get it..huge underestimation.

But overall, I think I am getting used to this teacher thing now. I can teach lessons and change my lesson plans in an instant if my students are understanding. I can switch from nice lady to mean old hag in 2.08 seconds flat. They already know what my mean face means and they stop dead in their tracks when I give them the eye....

Well, its only 3:34 and I cant leave until 4...guess I will make up some work to do, which will consist of looking for a puppy farm in Bangkok and workout plans...

Life is too short & God is too good. I guess mai pen rai is back lol

peace&love

Glad that's over

Ok fervent followers, I am feeling so much better. Yep, my kiddies have made me feel like I'm SuperWoman. My only kryptonite is late taxi drivers. Hopefully this is a start to a renewed sense of spirit and love for Bangkok.

Soooo, I started a journal yesterday. And I know what you're thinking..."isn't this a journal?" NOPE! This is a public blog. I do not share my deep, innermost thoughts with you guys. Sorry! Love ya but uhhhh iono you like that shawty...but yeah. I started my journal while at school and I immediately felt better about my day. I was putting alot of frustrations on paper..and that made me feel good. I have also started writing poetry again. Not for sale or anything..shoot I might not even let anyone see it. But it helps to put my thoughts down on paper. It soothes my soul.

Yesterday, someone asked me what my hobbies were and I couldnt even tell them. But today, I can say that I journal and I listen to music. Music/poetry/journaling = my catharsis. Big word meaning release for emotions. So if you're like me..and you need some way to get it outta ya..then write it down. Get it out and you will feel 3000% better!

Welp..its about that time that I get to leave school early :] TGIF!!!!

Love you all! & Continue to pray for me!

Life is too short & God is too good. Mai pen lai!

peace&love

Great way to start off my first month here! [I'm totally being sarcastic]

Good early morning fervent followers!

I have been MIA on my blogs for the past week because I have been super tired everyday after work. These kids literally work me into the ground.

But on to today's news. I am awaken this morning (15 before my alarm clock, which already pisses me off) to my taxi driver speaking jumbled English that I cannot understand. I assume it means he cannot come, but I call the number back to be sure. Another driver answers telling me my driver took another customer for 6:45am (he's supposed to get me at 6:30am everyday) and cannot come and get me. I am pissed because this is the second time this has happened this week!!!!!!!!! I am seriously going to have to get another driver!!!!!!

This is one of the things that is contributing to my dislike of Thailand and Bangkok, specifically. I am always sick. I am always late because Thai taxi drivers don't value my time. I'm always lonely. And I am always tired. I don't really have any friends here and the people I came with already have good relationships, in which I am not included. I don't really share any commonalities amongst the people I came with so it makes it that much harder to build friendships. I am trying to be a good sport and do great things here...but it is really hard. Today, I really just wanna come home. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Skype/Facebook/Twitter is not gonna help me either - so please don't suggest it. Yes, I can see my family and friends and boyfriend, but I can't hug them, or touch them, or have them here when I am sad. May 31st please get here as quickly as you can. Thanx.

Hopefully my day will not be as bad as it's start.

Until next time,

Life is too short & God is too good. No more mai pen lai (I've had enough)

peace&love = frustration/dislike with and for Bangkok

God, please give me strength.